I was tagged by lovely Sonia of Life in Blush (Go check out her interesting answers!) to take part in this tag inspired by the buzz from this article entitled “To Fall in Love With Anyone, Do This” about a social experiment which consisted of 36 questions for two strangers to answer. Meghan of Dream & Scheme, the creator of this tag, narrowed it down to 23 questions, which is good because I never have a short answers to anything.
The study caught my attention and speaking from a lot of experience, it’s really easy to fall in love with anyone. But to love someone isn’t the hardest thing, the hardest part is to be loved.
So before I start with the questions, let me tell you a story about love and being loved:
When my mom was young, she had many knights asking for her hand in marriage. They seemed to be so head over heels in love with her that they even talked about the nitty-gritty of organising their marriage. For instance, one of the knights seemed to have talked about organising his wedding with my mom at a rustic-yet-aesthetically pleasing barn (which might have been similar to the modern-day barn wedding venues Virginia). He happened to have also talked about the food menu that he wanted his guests to consume. No kidding! To be honest, she looked old for her age, so even at age 11 a man fell deeply for her. She even created a traffic accident by just waiting for the bus. Though, my mom didn’t know the secret of falling in love with someone, so she dismissed the men because she wasn’t in love with them.
Only if she had said yes to any of the men who had expressed their affection for her, she could have gotten the opportunity to get a fairytale-like wedding. It is hard to imagine someone saying no to a guy who might have thought about booking wedding reception venues just after looking at a woman for the first time. Commitment is scarce nowadays!
Honestly, she had the opportunity to be saved, loved and move to Washington, and she could’ve set some security around her. But she turned all opportunities down of fear or searching for something that would never come. After she got me, which was a surprise and not something she’d planned, she’s been alone and wasted her youth. There’s no doubt she could be loved, but nowadays, she doesn’t even love herself. And if she can’t love herself, how could anyone else feel welcome to do so?
So what’s the story line? Well, of course I made it my mission to not end up like my mom. Knowing how to fall in love, I settled with the first man, who not only did I feel somewhat attracted to (and that would grow more so too), and not only offer stability for years to come, but who was in love with me. Yes, he loved me before I loved him! And you know what, it turned out to be the best decision I’ve made in my life.
We all have an idea of what love should feel like, and maybe you’ve once felt that great attraction. Pheromones, personality, common interests, and looks are some of the reasons you develop feelings for a person. But don’t dismiss love just because you don’t feel butterflies, because love can grow. Love is a verb, something you let yourself do.
My advice is: don’t turn down being loved out of fear or lack of attraction, especially if it brings opportunities you’ve always dreamt of or will let you grow. Love can always come on later.
So let’s jump in!
The Fall In Love Tag
1. Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as a dinner guest?
The normal answer would to say some kind of celebrity or famous person, but I’m not one who cares much about them. My neighbor next door is more interesting to me in all honesty ;D
But as a dinner guest of my choice I’d invite my spirit guide/s. I can imagine the interesting conversions we would have.
Now when I think about it, this answer simply puts how self-obsessed I am and how I never seem to get enough talking about myself lol (so not true in real life though!)
2. Would you like to be famous? In what way?
I think I struggle with this thought, because I somehow gotten told that it’s wrong to reach for it.
Maybe not famous, but I have a deep desire to be known or be of importance in some way or another.
Don’t we all want to mean something to the world or someone?
Every Society teacher has told me that I should work in politics, and I’m like, “No, I would be a bad politician, because I can’t lie!” But maybe the truth could be just what the people needs to hear?
But then I’m awfully shy and reserved, and I like my space. But if I could accomplish something close to dearest Jess Ainscough (The Wellness Warrior) who past away recently, I would be close to satisfaction you know.
3. Before making a telephone call, do you ever rehearse what you are going to say? Why?
If I don’t know what to say or explain, there’s usually nothing you can do to make me speak to people. So before calling someone I always have to write it down or rehears my point I want to come across. I have phone-phobia also, and the only people I’m okay talking to is my mom, my boyfriend and his dad. People I’m not comfortable talking to usually says I’m rude on the phone haha
Funny enough is that I used to work at Teleperformance (calling center) and no, CBT does NOT work. If not, I’m more scared of picking up the phone, that job totally traumatized me!
4. What would constitute a “perfect” day for you?
I’m just sitting here and thinking, what is not perfect already? It’s very important for me that I’m grateful for everyday, because I’m living my dream life just as I’ve always wished for, it would be just wrong to not give gratitude for this amazing gift. So basically, all my days are perfect, everyday I spend my days exactly as I always wanted to for myself!
5. When did you last sing to yourself? To someone else?
I play keyboard and write cheesy song lyrics, so I like to sing everyday, but I’m not good enough to apply for Idol, so don’t expect me to put up anything on YouTube!
I sing a lot to my cat, I always start with the high notes ’cause that will make her do this funny sound like she’s singing with me ^^
6. If you were able to live to the age of 90 and retain either the mind or body of a 30-year-old for the last 60 years of your life, which would you want?
First of all, reading the book Healthy at 100 has made me think of how cool it would be to be 130 years old! With that said, I always thought I’d die at age 36. When I turned 18, I seriously thought to myself “Now I’ve lived half my life.” Don’t ask me where I got that stupid thought from.
No but, I had to actually re-read this question five times, before I figured out what there was to choose from. I feel like our mind will always be stuck on 17, and we can choose to let our body age gracefully, so there’s no question that you can have both, just look at Annette Larkins!
7. Do you have a secret hunch about how you will die?
No, I did not know about this question when I answered #6…
I have a good sense about my life, but I sometimes get blanks, usually it indicates somethings are not yet written or being rewritten, or it could actually be that nothing major will happen the coming years.
From what I’ve been sensing the past few years, is that things has turned out much better than expected for me, and I will live a very long and beautiful life focusing on my Dharma. I will also have a major spiritual shift/development when I’m around fourty years old. It feels good to know I have a lot of time on me to grow.
8. For what in your life do you feel most grateful?
I’m grateful that this is not the end, nor the beginning, but it just is and I get to choose how to relate to it all.
9. If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?
I’ve always known that something is off with me, and always been searching for an answer to who and why I am. Recently I found the missing piece to the puzzle of who I am and why I am the way I am that gave me the most satisfaction in my search. I for once feel complete.
It would’ve been great if this had been discovered sooner, if my mom knew why I am different, maybe she would have it easier relating to me. We’ve worked through things and are now very close, but I’m always wondering if my mom could’ve supported me better as a child if she knew I had Asperger.
I was always handled like a “normal” kid, even though my mom always known I’ve acted differently, like an aloof adult. I should’ve been supported from an early age, instead my mom wouldn’t admit the fact that whatever she wanted me to be, I wasn’t going to ever become that. It’s not until now she’s come around to embrace and support me that extra amount that I need.
You can’t really choose your parents in a sense, and this is going to sound harsh but it’s just a fact: I would’ve been better off raised by someone who understands and had the patience.
It’s not that I’m slow or anything – on the contrary, I have above average IQ and high Intellect that would scare most people – I just prioritize differently in my brain and I’m unable to do things or be forced to do what I don’t like or don’t see the necessity of, which I can’t apprehend how others can. And this of course seems like I’ve got “learning disabilities”.
Long Note: I have not been properly diagnosed. Being diagnosed as an adult do cost. I know, because a friend of mine recently wanted to know the truth about herself which she and her family had suspicions of, and she got diagnosed for Asperger and ADHD, and had to pay somewhere around 18 000SEK for going through trials. That’s like a new MacBook Pro 17″, that I’d rather spend my money on.
There’s just no question that I am an Aspie, I tick all the boxes and I relate to it all, and I embrace the fact! The only reason to get a proper diagnose as an adult is if you feel like it’s hindering your life and are interested in treatments. I would lie if I said thinking differently isn’t a struggle in this society, but then, I don’t feel like I am the one who needs adjustment? And I don’t see how you can treat a Personality? It’s not a disorder, it’s a way of being, just like every other human out there. Aspie’s just tend to be more extreme of what feels right and wrong than other’s do, and that’s actually a thing people could learn a great deal from.
10. In four sentences, tell your life story in as much detail as possible.
How about I paint it for you?
Okay, I just did this on a whim, but it basically demonstrates something many of you may relate to – how life seems to go up, then take one step back, and then up…
I hope you notice one crucial thing though, and that is that we keep going forth no matter how many steps back we take!
But as we go, we fade (blue), but we also gain knowledge and love (green). And every back-turn is a lesson.
11. If you could wake up tomorrow having gained any one quality or ability, what would it be?
Are we speaking in third dimension only or whatever dimension? Because teleportation would be awesome! Think of how environment friendly, but maybe nauseating, that would be?
Oh you’re speaking about this dimension? I’d like to be like really bendable without any pain (the importance of being specific!), so I’d feel more confident in my dancing.
12. If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future or anything else, what would you want to know?
Knowing how and when my close family would die, including myself, would be interesting to know. I’d also ask how did the Universe get created, but I feel like that would be too much to apprehend and the same time I feel like the answer is within me?
13. Is there something that you’ve dreamed of doing for a long time? Why haven’t you done it?
There’s important and less urgent dreams in life. I would say I’m slowly but steadily checking most things off on my list of dreams.
But one dream would be anything to do with heights, like: helicopter ride, bungy jump, hot air balloon. I have a bunch of pussies around me, and even though I wouldn’t mind doing it all alone, I know it would be better remembered with people who are deadly afraid of heights ^^ hihi It’s just hard to convince them to do these things with me…
14. What is the greatest accomplishment of your life?
In this moment: mixing a smoothie, forgetting the cap on, without making a mess. Now, beat that!
All moments gathered towards this one: All accomplishments are indifferent, because they all have the same outcome of feeling saying: I did it!
The greatest one is usually the latest one, because it’s a progress.
15. What do you value most in a friendship?
Don’t get me wrong, but I wouldn’t know. There’s different things to value between different people. No friendships are two alike. What I value in one, doesn’t have to be a necessity in another.
I get attracted to different people with very different qualities all together.
Like no, I can’t answer this question. You have to be more specific with me..
16. What is your most treasured memory?
Oh, it involves this moment of being seen, by a boy. Like, really seeing me, as if we were the only ones in the room.
What’s special is that I was madly head over heels for him and he seemed to like me too. Like what’s the odds that two people can like each other?! That didn’t happen me much. Usually I would fall for men who’s got no interest in me, or men who I got no interest in would like me (but they were never in love with me), or the men would usually already have a girlfriend.
Or wait, that boy, staring into my eyes, he had a girlfriend at the time. &%”#/@!.
All I have left is that mysterious ridiculously passionately warping time traveling moment that we had together only a few times.
I will never really know if he felt what I was feeling, but it was beyond magic on a meta-physical level, and yeah, I still think of him sometimes. Which is creepy… But hey, I managed to fall in love with someone else, have a great and fulfilling life without him, so I have full rights to go back in Memory Lane!
17. What is your most terrible memory?
I feel like my years of going in therapy will be all wasted if I answer this one question. Are we really going to open the door for psychotherapy? I don’t think I’ve got time for that.
18. If you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living? Why?
Are you really sure? Don’t play with me about these things. Don’t tell me I will die in one year and then I live for 8, because I got this whole thing planned out if it would ever come to this absurd situation!
And because you’re not mentioning anything about doctors, I’m relying on the fact that only I know about this, and that it is indeed true that I will only live for one year more.
So, I would do whatever a sane human being would, and that is to take out a HUGE loan of credit, and move to desired paradise (unless I already live there I could spend it on others). Why? Because whatever anyone states, money is time and the power of exchange of the things you love to do.
19. What does friendship mean to you?
It’s a mutual exchange of service, company, interests, opinions and support.
Um, I have a very technical way of viewing things…
20. What roles do love and affection play in your life?
I feel so bad for not understanding this question, because it feels like I should be able to, but I can’t.
And maybe that tells you a lot that it don’t?
21. Share an embarrassing moment in your life.
That would definitely be my mom letting an argument blow up in public.
One of those times actually I just ran away from her, which then lead me to a semi-romantic encounter, which ended terribly and I don’t even know what good that was for!
So mothers out there: Don’t ever embarrass your children in public. Take a few breaths and proceed in calmness!
22. What, if anything, is too serious to be joked about?
This is so individual, and I believe in respect but also in freedom. I sure have things I don’t like others to joke about – unless it’s me who’s joking about it duh ;)
I feel like it’s common sense to be respectful around people you know have a sensitivity to certain subjects.
It’s very much the paradox where many forget that freedom of speech does not mean freedom from criticism, people are just as much allowed to act offended. (Refering to Charlie Hebdo)
I think some extremist have a twisted view on what’s okay to be joked or talked about and the extreme ways karma might come for them. But maybe they need to be there to point out the border?
As much as I think laughter can fix any argument, I know some arguments can be set on fire by a laugh.
This of course doesn’t happen immediately, but is something that is built up. So looking at signs early, knowing the people you hang around with, what they are okay with and not, is the safest way to joke about practically anything. Just not with certain people.
23. Your house, containing everything you own, catches fire. After saving your loved ones, pets, and necessities, you have time to safely make a final dash to save any one item. What would it be? Why?
No, just let it all burn. I need to feel this. It’s like that moment I accidentally deleted my old blog. Just let the past be the past.
But maybe it’s easy for me to say this, when I own so little and not of great value. Or maybe you feel sorry for me not being sentimental enough. Of course it hurts, but sentimentality can actually kill you, so I rather have a chill view on things.
Everything can be re-bought or made better. Isn’t that awesome?!
PS Things of real or even sentimental value, we have in our fire safe, so it won’t be all lost. Funny: I asked this Q to my boyfriend who said he doesn’t rely on the fire safe being safe and would run back to get it haha
