Is it weird that I get anxiety from being absent on the blog? More than one week doesn’t feel good. More than two makes me feel ashamed. More than three, I’m evil to not put something out there. Anyone feel the same?
But blogging more than two times a week makes me feel like I’m not bringing quality and thought into my posts. And I hate when I do “filler reviews” instead of admitting that I’m so full of ideas that I hit walls. – Yeah, filler reviews are those really straight forwards short reviews just to say something. Anything.
Living in a fast paced world makes you feel like you’re disappearing into a crowd if you’re not active and deliver in time or consistently and also of quality. How can someone be remembered or live up to that in this day and age?
IF YOU TAKE IT SERIOUSLY, IT WILL STRESS YOU OUT.
My lack of posts lately has been majorly affected by the need to shift my focus and energy into making blogging something more than just a hobby. I have so many ideas but I’m mostly doing it all by myself and I’m the only creative person I know, so all details and design sits on my shoulders. Well, I kind of have myself to blame because I’m a loner by heart with aspie traits, connecting with people or even turning to others for help doesn’t come very naturally to me. It’s probably some control issues that I’m dealing with too.
Two years ago I bought a domain for this blog with a vision. I also finally found a subject I’m passionate about and that brings me joy to share and write about. Buying that domain name was the kickstart, but when it comes to change and the unknown I’m pretty slow at start. I need to be 95% sure of things before I even try to do them. And I’m much so guided by feelings.
IF I DON’T FEEL CONFIDENT, IT’S PROBABLY NOT THE RIGHT TIME.
But something I’ve faced a lot this year and learned from is that you can’t always wait for confidence to grow. You kind of have to water and tend to it.
“When things are perfect I will do this… When I have this I can do that…” When and when and when, it was ruining me from going after my dreams and living the life I wanted. Truth is, there will never be a right time; things will never be perfect. What happens is that you get stuck in “Perfection Paralysis”.
In the end you have to put Action before Perfection.
I tell myself: I am not Coca Cola, I can always change my mind.
Not putting something out there, no matter how bad it may be the first time, is not doing anything for progress.
You don’t always have to believe in yourself at first, by watering and giving some occasional fertilizer (aka: action steps) belief will start to come to you.
At the beginning of this year in March I applied for Marie Forleo’s B-School. Since then I’ve been testing and planning, dreaming and taking small baby steps. However, I need to do it in my pace, no matter how slow I am comparing to others.
The course was the final tool into actually knowing how to put my dream out there.
I’m probably one of the oldest bloggers out there and no one knows about it.
I’ve been blogging since I was fourteen, that’s 2005 guys. I’ve had several blogs, one even more successful than this one, thanks to one famous blogger…
And one that I managed one night around 2AM high on coffein to accidentally completely erase. Yeah, I still beat myself up after that stupid double click I did back in 2009. And had to kind of start from scratch again.
But maybe if I hadn’t done that, maybe Frivolous Girl would have never been born?
Well I’m hoping there was some kind of greater purpose to make up for all the memories and thoughts lost in to cyber’s vacuum.
I’m ashamed it has taken me two years to do this, but the almost-right-but-perfect-time has come, I’ll be moving my blog where I will have more control and I’ll be releasing all the fluff I always wanted to do. It will probably seem “B” at first, but keep in mind I’m a one woman show. As of the summer I’m actually registered as self-employed company, just to pressure me more to finish what I started… and get some money back for that expensive camera I bought for my blog. High quality pictures has really payed off though.
When will the move happen?
As soon as my boyfriend manages to set up a decent site to blog on. In other words: the deadline is preferably before December, but I can’t promise anything. My boyfriend has a fulltime job and my programming skills extends to source mapping which isn’t enough to build a website. But I can do some wicked graphics with it.
But just the thing that my life brought an awesome programmer + my graphic design talents together shows that this is what I’m supposed to do.
I’m really nervous and excited to take you with me on this :D
So I’m sorry for the lack of content lately, but with the move I’ll be starting from scratch. Which means I’ll be manually, importing the most relevant content from this blog into the new site. I should really hire someone to do this, but the control-ist in me won’t and I’m not 100% sure on how I want things to look just yet.