[bctt tweet=”A big part of mental clarity comes from our surroundings.”]
There’s a big reason why I choose a more solitude life and don’t go out with friends or have many of them, it’s because I am an emotion-sponge. It’s exhausting for me to be around people, especially those who are emotionally charged in one way or another. People are often unaware of what energy they send out just by riding the train.
Knowing how others emotions affect me I’m quick to remove myself from any situation (read: person) that makes me not feel uplifted. You may think I’m afraid of facing conflicts? No, this isn’t like that.
I know how it feels to be alone and have no friends at all. One of them are more stressful and the other one is freedom.
Now, I’ve noticed during my years that people tend to be lazy about this. Everyone can spot a toxic person, but only 1% does something about it. This is because most people don’t love themselves enough to do whatever it takes to make themselves happy. It may be considered egoistic, but when you think about it, everyones happiness depends on your happiness. If you feel good more joy will enter your life. By choosing to surround yourself with negative energy, you are allowing it into your life which will hold you back from anything good to want to come your way!
First off, what is a toxic person?
- Someone who drains your positive energy.
- Makes you mad for reasons you shouldn’t or don’t even know.
- Someone who does not support you and your goals.
- A person who dumps their negative feelings onto you.
- A person who complains but doesn’t do anything to change.
- Makes you feel like you have to impress them, but no matter what you will always feel worthless or not yourself.
Basically, they cause unwanted stress and should be considered a toxin.
This could be a friend or a family member, but probably not your pet. If that’s so, you’re probably not doing a great job being a leader.
Why is it important to remove or avoid negative people?
- They drain your energy level, causing stress and anxiety which can lead to health problems.
- They slow down your ambition by inserting doubts and fears in your mind.
- They block the space for your own self growth, holding you back from taking positive opportunities and for success to happen.
So how do we detox these people out of our lives?
I give you a tree-step process because that is all you will need!
STEP 1: YOU DESERVE IT
The first step in any is to feel that you deserve better. Because you do! Don’t feel the least ashamed! Know you deserve positive people around you!
You are special. You are powerful. No matter what anybody implies, You are worth just as much as them.
You deserve to be around people who treats you nice, that lift you up, respects you and helps you grow!
That is the truth!
You need to decide that you are worth it. Don’t let somebody else hinder you to show your gifts to the world. Because you are freaking awesome! You know it. Your friend knows it. I even know it. You deserve the Best and most potent people around you!
You need to ask yourself:
- Does this person support my goals or slow me down in achieving them?
- Does this person constantly complain or actually take in my advise?
- How do I feel after a meeting with this person, all drained or uplifted?
STEP 2: LET THEM GO
Depending on how close you are and the feelings towards this person. If you can’t see yourself breaking the chains instantly then I’m suggesting first of all to actually confront the person.
Yes, tell them how you feel, give them your outmost constructive critique – just don’t sink yourself to their level.
You could also try Step 1 for them: encourage them to take action with their problems instead of dumping all of their insecurities on to you – tell them how strong they are! Because it’s the same here, only they themselves can decide to end their misery, not you.
If this person doesn’t change or even tries to change their behavior then the true fact is that this person doesn’t deserve your help or attention. They clearly don’t appreciate you or listen to you, and that’s your energy going to waste.
Think of all the people who’s waiting out there for you, desperate in need of your advice and who actually will listen! Don’t take that away from them!
Let that person go by:
- Avoiding them. Yes, sometimes some old grade school-behavior is necessary, but it’s for your own good, and theirs too actually. But don’t go and be an actual 14 year old, apologize for being distant but you don’t have to go further explaining why. Look at it more like ”growing apart”. That shit actually happens, even in adult years!
- Be drastic. If you feel like you need to and if it is appropriate, you can decide to cut the ropes dramatically. You really shouldn’t feel ashamed here but to embrace that new fresh air that suddenly got flowing when that big rock got lifted off your chest!
- Let them go with love. Be open to the change and possibility that they might grow and be ready to actually take in some of your love and support while you keep your distance. Then you can meet them half way and slowly start introducing them to your life again.
STEP 3: SURROUND YOURSELF WITH LOVE
As I said, You deserve to be acknowledged by people who appreciates you.
These people will:
- Actually listen and take action on your advice.
- Support and encourage you in any decisions or ideas that you have.
- Make you feel uplifted and thankful for your company.
- Inspire you.
I’ve cut the ropes with many in my life, both drastic and in time, it’s a natural part of growing and finding yourself. You may be forced to be with some, but you can always choose on where and how you put your energy on them. That energy is yours, and you do whatever you want with it. Just know that you can create great things with it, for Yourself, and Others who will actually listen and respect you. Invest it on good people.
[bctt tweet=”You need to be a good friend to yourself before you can actually be a good friend to anyone else.”]